I started this thing almost 19 months ago with no idea what it was for or really why I was doing it. In essence, my reasoning was basically that I wanted to be able to work things out and the easiest way to do that was by taking my time and working it out on paper. I also wanted to be able to find it again later but I'd probably lose the paper.
So this page was started.
A page with no particular purpose beyond it's existence.
And so I ask myself, of what use is something with no purpose. On one level, this question has a simple answer. If there is no purpose, then it is not useful and therefore it is useless.
Now, to my knowledge I've never been accused of sentimentality. I have very little use for anything that's only purpose is to remind me of something that I used to be - what I used to be I generally try to forget. If something has served it's purpose, it is now not useful and is therefore useless.
Which brings me to the purpose of this post, and indeed this page. This page was created with out a cogent purpose, but in the last week or so, I discovered what it was. In conjunction with a couple of other things, this page forced me to think about things in a way that I had never done before. I don't ever think I've mentioned this before here, but it's been my observation that if a mask is worn long enough, it becomes your real face. People say they 'find themselves', I think that's a lie. No one 'finds themselves', they decide who they are.
Over the past two years, I decided who I was.
I moved to Sydney about 20 months ago. In the process, I decided that the things that people thought about me back where I was previous would not be thought about me here. In particular, I had many rough edges that needed to be smoothed off. I failed somewhat at that mission. My edges are a bit smoother, but people still have many of the same thoughts. But what it did do was force me to be someone I hadn't been before. I wore that mask for about 18 months with only very occasional slips and with such regularity, that my previous faces had to shuffle around to make room. What happened without me noticing was I became a person, whole and complete.
As a result of this, the entire premise of this page has become a moot point. I wanted to work things out on paper, and in the process worked myself out.
This has become a thing without purpose. It has ceased being useful and therefore must come to an end.
This next part is somewhat difficult. When I leave a situation, it is my practise to cut ties as much as possible. I don't really want to cut this particular tie since it is something that I actually need to remember. This page will no longer be updated except under exceptional circumstances. You can still contact me through this page but I won't be doing anything more here.
Farewell, and I hope that those of you who decided to take this plunge into the morass with me enjoyed it or learned something from it.
This is Alphonse, signing off.
So this page was started.
A page with no particular purpose beyond it's existence.
And so I ask myself, of what use is something with no purpose. On one level, this question has a simple answer. If there is no purpose, then it is not useful and therefore it is useless.
Now, to my knowledge I've never been accused of sentimentality. I have very little use for anything that's only purpose is to remind me of something that I used to be - what I used to be I generally try to forget. If something has served it's purpose, it is now not useful and is therefore useless.
Which brings me to the purpose of this post, and indeed this page. This page was created with out a cogent purpose, but in the last week or so, I discovered what it was. In conjunction with a couple of other things, this page forced me to think about things in a way that I had never done before. I don't ever think I've mentioned this before here, but it's been my observation that if a mask is worn long enough, it becomes your real face. People say they 'find themselves', I think that's a lie. No one 'finds themselves', they decide who they are.
Over the past two years, I decided who I was.
I moved to Sydney about 20 months ago. In the process, I decided that the things that people thought about me back where I was previous would not be thought about me here. In particular, I had many rough edges that needed to be smoothed off. I failed somewhat at that mission. My edges are a bit smoother, but people still have many of the same thoughts. But what it did do was force me to be someone I hadn't been before. I wore that mask for about 18 months with only very occasional slips and with such regularity, that my previous faces had to shuffle around to make room. What happened without me noticing was I became a person, whole and complete.
As a result of this, the entire premise of this page has become a moot point. I wanted to work things out on paper, and in the process worked myself out.
This has become a thing without purpose. It has ceased being useful and therefore must come to an end.
This next part is somewhat difficult. When I leave a situation, it is my practise to cut ties as much as possible. I don't really want to cut this particular tie since it is something that I actually need to remember. This page will no longer be updated except under exceptional circumstances. You can still contact me through this page but I won't be doing anything more here.
Farewell, and I hope that those of you who decided to take this plunge into the morass with me enjoyed it or learned something from it.
This is Alphonse, signing off.
