Things to do before you die

In 2003 the BBC published a list of 50 things to do before you die, as voted by the English public. Now I know that there are any number of these lists including books to read, movies to watch, wines to drink or virtually any activity you can imagine. What brought this one to my attention was both the fact that it was featured in a stand-up comedy set by Bill Bailey and the fact that most of them were kids dreams and either easily attainable or virtually impossible. You can see the list here. The list includes things like ride a motorbike on the road, or go fishing, or catch a section of the Orient Express, or look at a waterfall. And then it features things like see the earth from space, drive a formula one car and fly in a fighter jet. Bill Bailey would have liked to see something in there like number 67, lunge wildly at the Pope.

Now at this point, I must admit that I can't remember what the aim of this post was going to be, so it may get a bit train of thought - prepare for potential brain wandering.

As far as I can tell the only real functions these lists actually serve is to give people a more achievable goal "I must do that sometime" and therefore can serve to give people ideas on how to spend their time, money etc. This can be a positive function; everyone needs goals to achieve, otherwise life is a continual monotony that merely leads from day to night to day, it also can help to generate economic stimulus for the people involved in selling these pursuits (greed makes the world go round). The other function is to get people distracted by the list and envious of the people who can and do follow it. This last function is completely negative. While greed is positive for monetary exchange and economic growth and therefore in the capitalist world is good, envy is not. Envy, or avarice, commonly known as one of the seven deadly sins, is wanting what isn't yours, or what is out of your achievable range. Even in a capitalist sense, envy is bad; it leads to disillusionment and can in some cases reach points of both self and external hatred. It is the negative part of greed; while greed can be positive when in moderation (wanting something else leads to growth of other things), envy is never good.

The first of these lists was an interesting idea; 1001 things to do before you die. After this though, almost every man and his dog has written a list that seeks to be the definitive list of the more trivial of human achievement. They have never tried, except in a few rare cases, to be anything more than a list of 'things it would be nice to try one day, preferably while still alive' and thus are nothing more than a triviality. You can lead a full life and never have explored Antarctica (number 23) or skydived or hot air ballooned (numbers 6 and 7), this is recognised by all those except the people who get distracted and envious. As such, these people are the true market for these lists, the people who decide they can't die before having completed as much of the list as humanly possible.

The lists that have been more than that are things like one by someone called TrevorJ:
read every Shakespeare play
run for office
have a newspaper byline
play in a band/orchestra
own a business
attend the Nobel prize ceremony & speeches
deliver a speech at your country's legislative assembly
write a book
raise a child
dress up as Santa Claus & give presents to children

This one contains some meat, to carry out this list means that you have to achieve something. Even the one that looks the smallest, the last on the list, is something that at the time is usually a major thing for the recipient. These are real achievements and are recognised as such so they have made it onto the list.

One person I read in the process of writing this argued that the smaller things such as on the 50 things to do before you die list may have as much worth. His argument was that it depends on your goals, if your goal is to have fun, then the original is better, there aren't many cases where running for office or delivering a speech the the legislative assembly will be particularly fun. The question then becomes one of what is worthwhile and becomes a question of value judgements, so I'm not going to get into it here. I will however ask, what is more valued, major achievements or having fun?

Some positivity for the morning

Looking back at most of my posts, I've noticed that most of them have been at the least negative and at the most quite angry (even after quite a lot of self censoring). So instead of me discussing why I think this happens, I have decided that it's time for me to be a bit more positive. This will be a collection of positivity, and I think that I will also include some positiveness in other things to come. Bear with me on this, it isn't something that I excel at.

I actually don't really know how to tell people about things that I find positive, so I'm just going to give you a list. This list is by no means exhaustive, but hopefully will serve to give you something to look into.

Good Food - good food, I would say, is one of the universal pleasures. I don't know of anyone (besides those with eating disorders) who can say that they don't derive pleasure from good food, especially in good company.
Good Music - this is something that will vary from person to person, I'll give you some of my favourites. Prokovief, Mussorgsky, Tchaikovsky (Russian classical); Ella Fitzgerald, The Idea Of North, Dave Brubeck (jazz); Kansas (especially the freaks of nature album), Pink Floyd, Dire Straits, Mike Oldfield (non modern rockish stuff); The Living End, The Cat Empire, My Friend the Chocolate Cake (look these guys up, if you don't you can't be my friend), Muse, RHCP (contemporary music); Kamelot, Epica, Within Temptation, Dream Theater (more progressive or symphonic metal style).
The Awesomeness of Nature - I quite like watching storms, especially in conjunction with another awesome natural thing like the sea. Spending time in nature, especially wooded areas, and definitely with very few people around is great. Note that I am not using awesome as a generic descriptor, I am using it in terms of AWE inspiring, completely different.
People - People that know me well will know that moderate or large groups of people aren't something that I handle particularly well, but small groups of friends are great. People working together to achieve a positive goal is great. People even just getting along is always nice too.
It may seem superficial, but Aesthetic Beauty - while 'It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.' (thank you Oscar Wilde), it is also true that 'We do not ask for what useful purpose the birds do sing, for song is their pleasure since they were created for singing.' (thank you Johannes Kepler) and this is beautiful. Also related is this from John Cage 'The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.' In saying that aesthetics is incredibly personal and individual. This is also one of the universal pleasures.
and finally, Good Literature or Movies - while there are many movies out there where as you watch them you just shut out anything but the movie and don't have to think about them (the same applies to books) there are others that when you watch or read them, you are required to think. These reward your thought by giving you more than is initially there. You can in some get 3 or 4 different layers of thought (try reading Jasper Fforde's book The Eyre Affair or Norton Juster's book The Phantom Tollbooth and you'll see what I mean) and in all of these you are rewarded again with not only another chance to think but something more extra (yes I'm sorry about the grammar, English was forte my never). These are the ones that you can always come back to again and again and they won't get old.

Well I hope that was enough positivity for one day, I'm going to leave you with some quotes about happiness or positivity. Have fun and enjoy yourself.

When the glass is half empty here is my solution. Relate it to a maths equation... let x=full and y=empty. So, if 0.5x=0.5y, therefore 1x=1y, therefore full = empty. Now you can look at an empty glass and make yourself feel better. -- Ryan Jenkins
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. -- Thomas Szasz
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. -- Aldous Huxley
The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good. -- Bertrand Russell
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance. -- Anatole France, and finally, to get you in the mood for whimsy
Not a shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious. -- Brendan Gill

Regrets

I watched a movie the other day in which someone's final advice to his daughter was "regret nothing" and this seems to be the catch cry of our age. Do what you want, and as long as you get off scot free, everything is all good. We aim to live without any regrets. Here we run up against a problem though. This problem is that regret is our way of telling us that something we did, we didn't want to do. What about the people who say that they regret nothing because whatever they did is what makes them what they are today? This also is stupid, what made them what they are today is regret. It made them say "Y'know what, I'm not going to do that again". Regret is the point at which you say "I wish I didn't do that" or "I wish I could take that back" or "That was a dumb thing for me to do". Yes, to some extent you actions made you what you are today, but in the end it is your actions mixed with your regret that finish the job.

There are many things that I regret doing, many of them are what made me what I am today but only with the regret. If I didn't regret what I had done, I would still be doing them and therefore, I wouldn't be what I am - I would be what I was. As for not regretting things because they've built you to where you are, you can still regret what you've done. As I've said, regret is simply wishing something that either has happened to you or that you've done hadn't. This means that this approach makes about as much sense as saying "I don't regret putting too much flour in the cake, because this only made it what it is", it may not be a major problem, but you still get a flawed cake.

Regret is part of the human condition; it is a greater instinct because it learns. Where instinct may be tempered by experience (ie you may learn how much instinct is right or you might piece things together more efficiently), regret is a definite; you learn yes and no through it. To live without regrets may be an ideal, but it is an ideal that can not be achieved unless either you're perfect, you don't learn, or you don't care.
In saying all of this, regret is not necessarily a good thing. Regret is also part what makes us wallow in self pity, it makes us stay up at night wishing that things had gone differently, it can hold us back especially if we regret something we shouldn't.

Looking around at what other people have said about regret, it seems that most people take regret in terms of the positives, i.e. I will not regret the positive things that I have done, but I will regret the positive things I haven't done. This is how people can say that they wish to live without regret. The error in this line of thinking is that regret also refers to negatives, i.e. regret the negative things I have done and don't regret the negative things I haven't done. Thoreau once said that "to regret deeply is to live afresh" and it is. When you regret deeply, you make the unconscious decision to live differently next time.

So, after all that, how do I wrap up regret?
Regret must be resolved. It has to be dealt with so that you can move on from what you have done. That isn't to say that it should be forgotten, forgive and forget is one of the more stupid maxims in our culture, but it should be put away and filed under experience.
Regret must never be the end of something. If you simply regret your actions, you always will, but you will regret it the next time you do it as well.
and thirdly, Regret is both positive and negative. It is both a tool for learning and a tool for self loathing, a way of moving on from things and a way to get stuck in them permanently.

Finally, two different people have said things which sum up societies attitudes to regret and the two main views of it. Judge for yourself.

I want to live my life so that my nights are full of regrets. - Fitzgerald
and secondly
I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets - D.H.Lawrence

Environmentalnessness

This is something that I've been thinking about recently. How are humans as a whole treating the environment? what about global warming, rising sea levels, extinction of species? what do we need to do? what should we do? what can we do? There is a song called Perfect Harmony by one of my favourite bands. It implies that the only way that we can live in perfect harmony with the world, is to be part of the world, but not part of humanity. The protagonist never saw his mother, was born in a secret part of the deep forest, and was brought up in the forest by the animals and the spirits of the forest (yes, there was a bit of that going, but their lyrics are often inspired by fantasy so it fits in context). He was the 'only human being to live in perfect harmony'. So what should we do if that's the only way to fit? I'll discuss each of my questions separately. Before I start though, I must say that I am, have never been, and probably never will be an environmental activist, an animal rights activist or anything related to these fields. I'd just like a bit of responsibility.

First of all, humans aren't treating the environment well. Think about yourself, do you use electric lights? are you reading this on a computer? I'm not talking explicitly about your carbon footprint, although we may as well ask about that also. How big is it? Do you even know? I'm not trying to take the high ground here, I'm about as bad as anyone.

Global warming. While there is some (granted that there isn't much) doubt about whether its anything more than a cycle, and while it is a natural process (granted that the effect is increased by human activity), global warming isn't the point. The point is that the effect is exacerbated by humans. Yes it is irreversible (unless you want to start sucking all of the greenhouse gasses out into space) but it isn't as bad as it can be. This also apparently affects the sea level. I don't pretend to be a smart person, but as far as I knew the sea is most of the reason that the worlds temperature isn't as high as it could be, we should be thankful for rising sea levels to some extent.

Extinction of species. I will preface this by saying that I am not a fan of the whole thing. However, if we were to take the theory of natural selection, (which incidently is not a theory no matter how many people want to claim that it is, the theory is evolution. Natural selection has been shown to be true many times, for example, look at the peppered moth) the fact that these animals are dying out means that they were not suited to live in the environment in which they were in, they were weak and failed to adapt. In a strictly Darwinian sense (which I do not agree with) this is a good thing - it shows that those which are stronger live and the weaker perish.
However, biologically speaking, in any certain environment whether it be in nature or somewhere else, the thing which fulfils any function best is the thing which suits that function best, e.g. the best thing to get rid of quick breeding insects is something that will eat flies, a spider which has been designed (or evolved depending on where you stand) to fit this purpose. When you take spiders out of the system, insects thrive and eventually overrun the system in which they find themselves. From this alone, preservation of species in their native environment is a good thing.

The final real question there is what is there to do. Yes we've all heard what we should do and how we should do it. Yes we've all been told over and over again that we can make a difference individually. And yes almost everyone either is doing something or wants to do something. So I'm not going to give you any of these. What I'm going to give you is a reason. The reason comes by way of a question. What is it worth. It is unspecified. It may be the environment as a whole, it may be the area where you live, it may be the pandas. For me, it is potentially my kids, or, if that never eventuates, the next generations. People often say that they want to give their kids a better life than they had, how about their kids or their kids or so on. I heard someone the other day say that the sun would die in 5 billion years from the 17 of Movember this year; now I am fairly sure that the accuracy of that statement is suspect, but I'm fairly sure that the earth itself won't last that long under it's current level of strain. My reason is that our kids shouldn't have to deal with the way we've screwed everything up.

Ⓐ=peace

This is a transcript of a piece of graffiti that I found while walking home from uni this afternoon.

Ⓐ=peace.

First of all, before you ask, Ⓐ is the international symbol for anarchy, along with a black flag. The black flag refers to the non nationalist, non united nature of anarchy, that they don't fit don't go together in a national sense and so therefore don't use a identifiable flag. The Ⓐ itself comes from a quote, Anarchy Is Order, so it is an A inside an O and is the most well known symbol of the anarchist movement. So I thought it would be a good time to discuss anarchy as a movement and as a concept.

Anarchy as a movement is defined by the belief that a compulsory government is unnecessary, undesirable, but more than that, it is harmful. Anarchy has also become synonymous with chaos, although, the two are not mutually inclusive. Chaos may be a method that an anarchist uses to achieve his or her goals, but it is not the explicit aim of the anarchist. Instead, anarchy, is intended to both challenge repressive power and promote freedom and self-autonomy. These seem like admirable goals, and indeed, I agree with the concept to an extent. The problem comes when the goals are achieved. With self-autonomy comes complete self-governance which means that the only things that are required of you are what you require of yourself. This leads to sociopathy, which is considered a serious mental illness. Sociopathy is where you do what amuses you, when it pleases you, regardless of the consequences. Fortunately there aren't many true sociopaths, and many of those who have some sociopathic tendencies are either too scared to do what they want, or to dumb to be able to do anything with any level of intelligence and get caught quickly. With the removal of external governance, everyone becomes a sociopath, maybe not in the accepted meaning of the word, but none the less, people will do what they want, when they want - sociopathy.

Before I go on, I had better clarify something. I believe that a certain amount of true anarchy is required in any well functioning government system. To some extent, the job of the opposition party is to be anarchists. At some level, someone needs to challange what the government says so that thought will be applied to the decision that is being made. If there is no thought, and the government simply does what it thinks is best, then bad decisions are guaranteed to be made. Bad decisions will still be made, but there will be less of them, and the mistakes will be smaller. However, this does not mean that I condone anarchy as a system. It has its place, but its place is not as the majority rule (or unrule) or a nation. Its place is in challenging the government, good or bad.

Now that I've said that, Ⓐ≠Peace. Lets take a very basic definition of peace - the absence of war (although I have in the past said that this is not an accurate definition, check here for details, especially at the end of the post). The achieved goal of anarchy has been documented in history. The bible (and I'm using it as a historic text, not for any other purpose. The happenings here have been confirmed by other historical documents of the time) describes what happens when there is no established rule. Judges continually says that "In those days, Israel had no king." Then we read about things like genocide, rape, mutilation, fratricide, murder, kidnapping, wholesale slaughter, and the list goes on. "In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit" are the last words in the book. It doesn't sound like peace to me. Even with our basic definition of peace, when we aren't reading about these exploits, we are reading about pitched battles and armies lining up to fight. Ⓐ≠Peace. It can help in leading to peace, but it of itself is not peace. It can help to challenge the established order of things where war is a past-time for the men of high command, or an economic boost for a country, but even there, the main work needs to be done by an established government. We can see anarchy at work in countries like Afghanistan or Iraq where the established government, as brutal or evil as in may have been (I am not passing judgement, merely passing on the views of many people) was removed and a power vacuum put in its place. These two countries went from having law and order to nothing in a matter of weeks or months. Now Afghanistan may be a lot better than it was, but it still isn't great, and Iraq is definitely not anything to be proud of.
If we want to take a less basic and more accurate definition of peace, I would put forward that it is probably more about stability and strength combined. Anarchy of itself requires either an absence of strength or a weakness from the upper echelons of society, especially in the rule of society. So there peace and anarchy are opposed, but what about the stability. Yes I will grant that anarchy used well can assist stability in either a region or a group, but it requires more finesse than most people possess.

In a way, the anarchist movement is like a dog that chases cars. It chases and chases, the knowledge that it won't achieve anything always in the back of its mind, but it keeps trying regardless. Then one day, it does make a victory, and then it doesn't know what do to with it.

Differences of Opinion

It is interesting that people say that all religions are the same. Even the most cursory glance by the most ill-informed spectator will prove that thesis wrong (although if this were the case, people wouldn't say this). There are many differences between religions of any system that go beyond the syntax or the name of the deity. It is also interesting to note that out of all of the religions, the one that stands out as the most different to the others is Reformed Christianity (as separate to Catholicism). The main difference between RC and all other religions is in the role of the human, in this case, you, or me. The other fundamental difference between most of the religions is in the response of the deity. The final difference is the working of the goal of the religion.

I will start with the difference that I mentioned last, because it is the easiest to figure out. In all religions the ultimate goal is what I am going to call Deification. The reason I use this word is because the goal of every religion is to either become the deity or to become like the deity - hence deification. This is one fact that holds all religions together as different to humanism or secularism. In both of these the aim is to either better society, or get what you can. The difference between religions starts with the way that you achieve your deification. There are two main groups in this - what is called by some people as the Right and Left hand paths. The right hand path (a less used term because it is not accepted by its practitioners) achieves deification through association, ie, you reach God or godhood by being with of associating yourself with God. This varies in its outworking, but is essentially the method used by most of the larger religions. The Left hand path achieves deification through emulation, ie, you reach godhood by being like a god. This means that the left is usually associated with magic, magick or the occult. It is found most commonly in paganism.
Now I admit that this separation isn't perfect, but it is one of the quickest ways to separate religions. I also admit that most religions that can be grouped in the Right Hand will dislike being put there, but when you look at the teachings of most religions, they will fit into one or the other.

The role of the human is unique in Reformed Christianity. According to RC, you or I take no active part in the deification. In RC this process is completely carried out by the deity in question - God. In all other religions the human must complete some task, perform some duty or the like to be able to receive the prize.
In Catholicism you must go to Mass and follow the sacraments (laws set-up by the Pope - God's intermediary on earth). The sacraments may vary from Pope to Pope of from year to year.
In Islam, you must perform certain tasks (called the 5 pillars), follow the law, not eat the wrong foods, and perform jihad against the devil (jihad has also come to be associated with physical warfare). Also the only way that you are guaranteed to reach the goal is to die in a holy crusade, which will transport you directly to paradise.
Confucianism concerns itself with enlightenment, social order and social duty.
The Bahá'í must follow rules about their life and help society.
In Judaism, there are a lot of traditions that you should follow, but in essence all that you must do is live a good live. Even if you don't, you will be punished and then allowed into heaven.
In Hinduism you are expected to follow certain rituals, but in this there are many different ways that you can follow depending on which of the deities you follow most strictly.
In Buddhism, Nirvana is achieved by disconnecting yourself from physical reality and 'liberating' yourself from physical desires. Through a series of re-incarnations you can work yourself up the chain until you become a supreme being.
As you can see this one difference that separates RC from all other faiths.

The next difference is the response of the Deity in question. In all of these religions the deity will judge you or your efforts but most of them have differences in the way that this is carried out. In RC the judgement is carried out on the basis of the work that has been done for you. In most others, your life is weighed and if what you did right out weighs what you did wrong then you achieve your goal.
In Scientology (not strictly a religion, but I'll mention it any way), the judgement is not carried out by a deity, but (as far as I can tell, the church of scientology prides itself on not letting people know its doctrines) by your thetan - your inner-self, so you self judge based on how many souls of long dead space beings reside in your body.
In Buddhism and Hinduism, if you are worthy, you will reincarnate as a higher being that you were at death, however, if you are not judged as worthy, you will reincarnate as a lower being. This will continue until you reach your deification.
In Catholicism and Judaism, the judgement is reserved until after death. Your soul is transported to either purgatory or gehenna to be purified. then you are allowed into heaven. Your tenancy in purgatory can be shortened by penance of the living.
In Islam you are sent to either heaven or hell, however, hell may be a temporary punishment in some cases.

These are just some of the differences between religions, and there are many others that it would take both many years and a lot more knowledge on a lot more topics than I have to discuss. However, I may outline some other differences between religions (especially the Abrahamic religions with which I am most familiar) later.

Tips for better Love

My last post (where I got angry), highlighted something to me. It seems to me that the meaning of love has changed somewhat. It has become trivialised, and almost conversely been made an ultimately attainable ideal (something that is a virtual impossibility - if everyone can reach the ideal, it isn't really an ideal; there is another level that you can get). It seems to me that now, the meaning of love is sex. People make love, or after they have sex, they are 'in love'. I have no doubt that the 12 year old mother and the 15 year old father say that love each other, but I have serious doubts about the veracity of this statement. A few years ago, love was called a feeling, or sometimes, it was more than a feeling, but it had no manifestation in reality, there was no qualitative test for it except for the amount you felt or said that you felt. I disagree with both of these definitions. Yes both of these can fit into an understanding of love, but neither are a true meaning, the best I can say about these are that they are a symptom rather than a condition - which is not to say that love is an illness or a disease.

I would like to illustrate what Love is with a few actual happenings, not hypotheticals. The first one happened on the 28th of April 1996 - the Port Arthur massacre. You may wonder how I can find love in this situation where 35 people were killed and 21 were injured. This will be revealed. The second is a friend of mine and his Love for his wife. The final one is a bit of a conglomeration.

On the day of the Port Arthur massacre, Martin Bryant shot and killed 35 people in a matter of minutes, the first 12 killed and 10 injured happened within 15 seconds. In this time, once people got over the initial shock, something amazing happened. Many of the later injuries in this original killing, happened while the victims were trying to defend their friends or family, men stood in between the gun and their wives, or pushed their daughters under the table where they stayed safer, one man physically lay on top of his wife in an attempt to save her life - one which was ultimately successful. These people, who were in the majority of victims, all died while literally taking the bullet for people they loved. This is Love, they were willing to lay down their lives for the people that they cared about.

The next incident refers to a friend of mine. He is moderately elderly (mid 50's) and his wife was diagnosed as having early onset Alzhiemer's Syndrome, a degenerative disease affecting the brain. She survived longer than expected, 7 years. During this time, she lived in a nursing home so that she could be cared for by people who knew how best to look after her. Despite not being the primary caregiver, he visited her at least once every day, usually over lunch. He retired so that he would be able to spend more time with her. In the later stages of her life, she barely remembered anything, this included his face, voice, name, and only really how to eat and sleep. Despite this, he continued to visit her daily, right up until her death, feeding her lunch, showering her, all the things that needed to be done for her comfort and continued health. This also is Love. He freely gave of himself with no ulterior gain; he got nothing out of his continued care for her, except for spending time with her, the care could quite possibly have been given more efficiently by those trained to give it and yet because of his love for her, he couldn't stand idly by and let others care for her when he could be.

The final illustration happened through a couple of people both separately but as a result of the same event. The first happening was the actions of Ian 'Jack' Cutmore. This man died while trying to save the lives of his two step-daughters, who were twins, and one of his sons while they were swimming in a local lake. He pulled the girls out and held up his son, who was rescued. However, to do this, he got himself trapped in the same mud and silt that the children were trapped in. He died at the scene. These actions are similar to those seen at Port Arthur, but differ slightly. Unlike those at Port Arthur, he could have saved himself, had he not gone back the second time, or had he not been so single minded in his aims. The second part happened as a result of this. The biological father of the twin girls who were saved, started doing everything that he could for the family. He was already on good terms with the entire family, consisting of Jack's children from his first marriage, Jack's widow's children from her marriage with the biological father, and their own children, but this shifted into a new gear. He held an auction, donating everything that he decided he didn't need to be sold to raise money for a car for 9, education for eight, food and hopefully be able to keep their house out of town. He headed up a donation trust fund for the kids. This also is Love similar to my friends display of love with his wife. He gave, not all of his time, but much of his belongings for, not just his kids, but also his ex-wife and her children and step-children. For this, he got nothing except respect from those who respect this sort of thing.

These are all good examples of real love, not the romantic kind which seems to dominate our awareness, especially through Hollywood.
For further listening, look up a few songs which cover the different types of 'love'
- Let me put my love into you - AC/DC
- Never fall in love again - Burt Bacharach
- Fields of Gold - The Police (nice... but eventually useless)
Or slightly better
- I don't have anything - VAST
- Lady D'arbanville - Cat Stevens (doesn't really make sense until later on, and still more about his confusion and inability to believe the situation)

Once again, we read the newspaper, and once again we are shocked by what we read. I think that over the period of my newspaper and other news media attention paying I have learnt to never be shocked by what happens, disgusted yes, but shocked no. This was brought to my attention again today when I read the story about a 12 year old who was about to be giving birth, a child to her 15 year old boyfriend who lived with her and her mother and again when I read the story about the students who consider rape, not just ok, but the way to go about getting sex. I am going to discuss them both.

Note - there is a great deal of self censoring in the following because it pissed me off a lot and even still, I may get a bit violent.
Firstly the girl. The story (which can be read here) was told mostly because her father made a call to DOCS saying that this sort of thing was happening. DOCS replied that they had no power to do anything about it because they can't stop two children talking. I will say that in this case, DOCS did not repulse me as much as other players involved - DOCS are ruled by, not just bureaucrats, but also by people who are convinced that everyone needs as much freedom as they can get, which means that when an 11 year old falls pregnant, unless there was a 30 year old father, they aren't allowed to care. However, everyone else was most definitely repulsive. Including the people who have tied the hands of DOCS the way that they have. THIS IS AN ILLEGAL ACTION AND THEY HAVE DISALLOWED ANY LEGAL METHOD OF DEALING WITH IT. THIS IS GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS PARTICULARLY STUPID AND I VIEW IT AS AN DEPRAVITY.
While I freely admit I don't know the full circumstances, the father was absolutely wrong to leave it at that. I like that he told DOCS first, but when that avenue was exhausted, he gave up. This was completely ignoring his responsibilities as a Father. Again I will stress that I don't know the circumstance that he was in, whether he was disallowed by a restraining order or something, but still he should have done something more than outsourcing his responsibility, especially after that attempt failed.
The 15 year old 'live-in' boyfriend I would like to meet - he would quite possibly never walk again (say what you will about me). I actually don't know what to say about this because it's just so painfully stupid, irresponsible, disgusting, {insert your own descriptor/s here} - I would like to smack him in the face so hard that he can see the back of his neck. This is a boy who still doesn't really know what life is, he might have just got a job, he can't drive; he is still what we refer to as young and stupid, except that when we talk about young and stupid, we're usually talking about doing a couple of dumb things - this is chronic degeneracy. First of all, stick with someone your own age, no, three years isn't much in the grand scheme of things but when we're talking about someone who is still in primary school you're still (I would like to say f***head, but I won't, however, I can't think of any better words to use here). Secondly, grow a brain. and thirdly, if you don't want to consider either of these, learn how to use a condom - which isn't to say that I condone having to use one at your age.
The girl also needs to wake up and grow a brain. Yes it is hard to say no to something when you're 11, but it's harder to have to deal with the consequences when you're 12. Yes this sort of thing was commonplace back in the day, but that still doesn't give any justifiable excuse for it happening today.
The mother, who the two kids lived with is possibly the worst of the lot. By this happening under her roof, she condoned the actions of these barely pubescent kids. she can deny it as much as she wants, but by her not putting an end to, at the very least, the boys tenancy there and at a still possible stretch, his life, and then she should have been forbidding the relationship (acknowledged that this is quite hard to do in the 'enlightened' day and age). Yes I can talk about the father's responsibility, but the fact that he no longer lives there means that at least to some extent, she has taken his responsibility. Even if she shouldn't take that responsibility she still has her own there.
I'll just clarify some of what I said earlier. The girl (and the boy for that matter) are both minors. Technically someone having sex with a minor is defined as rape and it is punishable with long jail terms. I said that this was commonplace back in the day, but only with marriage; if it happened outside of marriage, either marriage would happen very quickly (not possible now without a judges permission - probably not forthcoming) or one of the parties would be killed in the town square.

Time to move on and take a few deep breaths before I bust some major artery or break something.

The other story (which can be read here), about the pro-rape students, I'm actually not sure which is worse. These are students - all male - who have probably grown up in rich families, gone to exclusive (read here high fee) schools and have been taught that they are paramount. They seem to believe that because their dad is some high-flying CEO and can buy them a lot of toys, that they are better than other people. These are the people who are convinced that no matter the circumstances, they are right and even if they are wrong, then daddy can bail them out by paying the right people. Most of this occurred at a college of USYD. I don't know what is worse, that there is the capability for this to happen at this college, or that when rapes actually do occur there that nothing is done about it. One reported case was that the college advisor had to find the master key to be able to stop a rape happening - which means that none of the other students (senior residents or otherwise) were doing anything about it and none of the on campus supervisors were doing anything about it; also the guy in question didn't get the hint when the advisor knocked on the door to ask what was happening, otherwise, he wouldn't have been there when he found the key.
They have defined themselves as "anti-consent" and joined a now shut facebook page called 'Define Statutory'. Ok then, here is my definition of Statutory Rape (because that's exactly what it is). She didn't say yes and you kept going. That is all it needs to be to be rape.
In terms of the players in this sordid state of affairs that disgust me, there are four. The students, the staff supervisors, the parents of the students and the makers of the facebook page that drew attention to this.
The students I don't think I have to say much about, and I won't, otherwise, something will be broken. I'm just going to leave it at grow a brain, get some sensibilities and a conscience, or alternatively, let me have a 'talk' to you that I can guarantee you won't consent to. Again, while this may have happened in the distant past, it occurred when you had captured your victim in battle and you desired to demean the entire enemy - if it happened outside of this, you were executed; so don't try to justify your actions.
The staff supervisors also acted abhorrently. Yes they are quoted as saying that it is "in every way at odds with what we are trying to achieve", but they hadn't done anything about it it prior to this happening. The fact that the resident advisor had to find the master key to be able to stop this happening doesn't speak very highly of your resolve to stop this happening. Yes, I will admit, you have gotten together with various groups including the police to set up a liquor accord which is some of the problem, but in this you haven't discussed sexual assault at all because it is "a delicate issue" because "the colleges are very closed communities". Closed communities just means that those who are in charge of enforcing rules need to do a better job of it because they are alone in it and this is something that hasn't happened as yet.
To the makers of the facebook page I will say the same thing that I said to the students and then add that inciting the actions is worse that committing them, especially if you wash your hands and say that you aren't at fault if someone else does something. Yes you are and you are more at fault.
And finally to the parents of the students, the ones who have brought their kids up in such a way that they think that this is fine. I have no doubt that when you find out about this you publicly condemn the actions of your kids, but that isn't all that is required. What is required is that prior to this happening you condemn the actions of those who perpetrate them, and condemn them with extreme prejudice. If your child thinks that these criminal acts (even if they weren't disgustingly abhorrent and bereft of humanity as well) are fine to commit, then you have failed in your duty as a parent, the main instiller of values in your child's life, and don't give me anything about that being the job of schools, if you're willing to outsource your parenting to schools, then give them your child completely and don't ask for him or her back.
EDIT: shortly after writing this, I noticed that NSW minister for women was "sickened" by this. All well and good, now do something about it.

Sorry about that, I just felt the need to break something.

Isn't it nice when people work together. Have a look at this. I don't think any more really needs to be said in regards to that.
It is worth noting, that they aren't sure if there will be any long term side effects, but from the initial reports, it looks fairly good.