Human psychology is one of a very few completely amazing studies in the realm of human knowledge. The more you learn about it, the more it amazes you. This post is going to hopefully show a couple of the different ways that people think, particularly with regards to body language but also mentioning responses to situations. The latter I will discuss first.
I'm sure you're aware that the easiest way to split people up is by gender, not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, anyone who tells you different is fooling themselves and lying to you. This is what made me think of this particular topic to discuss - a difference in responses. You probably know, but you may not have realised, guys respond to things almost immediately, especially in the case of disagreements or arguments. There will likely be a large fight, and then 5 minutes later you would never know it had happened. This is different to the female approach which tends to be more considered, thought out and slower. There will probably be a separation and then there will usually be a long drawn out hate thing happening. This may last for years until the original slight is forgotten; I've seen this happen over failing to mention a new haircut before.
Now the new piece of information is that there is actually a name for this phenomenon. Males are usually 'situationalists' and females are usually 'generalists' or 'universalists'. These names refer to the way an incident will affect a relationship. Guys will often think only in terms of the current situation, and therefore anything after that will be as if it had never happened. Girls will add or subtract the situation from the ever growing pile of situations. This can mean that something that happened months ago which a guy will have completely forgotten will be remembered and considered by a girl. Which is also why guys forget to buy flowers after a fight and girls won't forgive without them (a generalisation I know, but an apt one).
I thought about this after a female friend asked for advice over a perceived incident with a mutual friend. My answer was to let it go and see what happens (situationalist): the situation will probably sort itself out. My friend was worried that there might be a schism in the future (generalist) and was wondering what the cause may have been: the situation won't sort itself out and will be affected by any other situations in the past or future. Just as an example of the two different ways of thinking.
I also said I would talk about body language. Body language is possibly one of the most fascinating things to observe in humans. It is one of the hardest things to lie about and most people have an instinctive, albeit basic, understanding of the out-workings. For this reason, a conscious understanding of body language is almost crucial in understanding people (something I have spent a great deal of time trying to do).
First thing to notice is stance. If you have a group of people standing in a circle, look at the feet of the both yourself and the people around you. The feet will be pointing in the direction of the person each individual most wants to impress. When they say something, often they will initially look in this direction as well, especially if they are about to say something funny or important to the discussion at hand. Next thing to notice here is with the guys. How far are the legs apart? This is most noticeable when sitting down. The guy who's legs are the furthest apart will usually be the dominant male of the group. This comes from the idea that the alpha male will need the most room for his genitalia. This has both advantages and disadvantages. Males in the group will almost instinctively follow this persons lead, however, if they are showing themselves to be too dominant, females will be subconsciously intimidated.
Position of the head is also easy to notice. If a persons head is slightly to one side, exposing one side of the neck, they are trying to defend themselves through deliberate non-aggression. In this case, their legs will often be closer together. Their voice will often be softer and they won't often disagree with the general consensus. This posture comes from saying that you are no threat, and to prove it, here is my head on it. If you notice this combined with slightly spread legs, they will likely by trying to manipulate something subtly (or they have a sore neck). If the head is slightly back, the person is confident and will often be in control of the situation. Conversely, if the head is forward and down slightly, the person will be more passive in any situation. If the head is forward and up with no apparent interest, back away slowly; this person is moving into a strike zone.
Here's one that you can try in a small group of friends. When everyone is relaxed, change your stance slightly; fold your arms, cross your legs, lean back, what ever you want (as long as it is natural). You will notice that people in the group will often follow this change without thinking about it. The more you notice this however, the less likely you are to follow the change yourself. The more someone likes you, the sooner and the more accurately they will follow your movements; the converse is also true to the extent that if someone really doesn't like you, they will sometimes reverse your movements in themselves.
Now remember what I said about stance? This is sometimes misleading. If there is an interest between two people one will often look away from each other and they may be facing someone else. This person will be the one who is most nervous about the situation and won't know what to do. They will also rarely the person who initiates any change in the status quo. They will look away and attempt to never make eye contact. If eye contact is achieved by design or by accident, it will be broken quickly. This can be fun to watch.
The final thing that I will mention is the shoulders. This can be a more accurate indication of temperament than either the face or the rest of the body. This is due to the effect of the lungs on the positioning of the shoulders. If your observee is confident or wishes the illusion of confidence (also related to dominance) their shoulders will be further back. Quiet sadness can be seen through the lowering of one shoulder (not always two as commonly thought); this shoulder will usually be the shoulder of the dominant hand. The other shoulder lowered can sometimes indicate aggression. Both shoulders lowered indicates pensiveness, distraction, or submission. It can also show more sadness than a single shoulder. These responses are not definitive and so to get a conclusion from these only is misleading. It must be combined with other signs to make a cogent diagnosis of the situation.
The absolute final thing that I have to mention in regards to all of this is that this comes mostly from my own observations which have at times been known to be wrong. The other thing that has to be noted is that every different person will be slightly different and so while this may work for some people, it will never be an exhaustive list of the only things that you need to watch. Use at your own risk.
I'm sure you're aware that the easiest way to split people up is by gender, not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, anyone who tells you different is fooling themselves and lying to you. This is what made me think of this particular topic to discuss - a difference in responses. You probably know, but you may not have realised, guys respond to things almost immediately, especially in the case of disagreements or arguments. There will likely be a large fight, and then 5 minutes later you would never know it had happened. This is different to the female approach which tends to be more considered, thought out and slower. There will probably be a separation and then there will usually be a long drawn out hate thing happening. This may last for years until the original slight is forgotten; I've seen this happen over failing to mention a new haircut before.
Now the new piece of information is that there is actually a name for this phenomenon. Males are usually 'situationalists' and females are usually 'generalists' or 'universalists'. These names refer to the way an incident will affect a relationship. Guys will often think only in terms of the current situation, and therefore anything after that will be as if it had never happened. Girls will add or subtract the situation from the ever growing pile of situations. This can mean that something that happened months ago which a guy will have completely forgotten will be remembered and considered by a girl. Which is also why guys forget to buy flowers after a fight and girls won't forgive without them (a generalisation I know, but an apt one).
I thought about this after a female friend asked for advice over a perceived incident with a mutual friend. My answer was to let it go and see what happens (situationalist): the situation will probably sort itself out. My friend was worried that there might be a schism in the future (generalist) and was wondering what the cause may have been: the situation won't sort itself out and will be affected by any other situations in the past or future. Just as an example of the two different ways of thinking.
I also said I would talk about body language. Body language is possibly one of the most fascinating things to observe in humans. It is one of the hardest things to lie about and most people have an instinctive, albeit basic, understanding of the out-workings. For this reason, a conscious understanding of body language is almost crucial in understanding people (something I have spent a great deal of time trying to do).
First thing to notice is stance. If you have a group of people standing in a circle, look at the feet of the both yourself and the people around you. The feet will be pointing in the direction of the person each individual most wants to impress. When they say something, often they will initially look in this direction as well, especially if they are about to say something funny or important to the discussion at hand. Next thing to notice here is with the guys. How far are the legs apart? This is most noticeable when sitting down. The guy who's legs are the furthest apart will usually be the dominant male of the group. This comes from the idea that the alpha male will need the most room for his genitalia. This has both advantages and disadvantages. Males in the group will almost instinctively follow this persons lead, however, if they are showing themselves to be too dominant, females will be subconsciously intimidated.
Position of the head is also easy to notice. If a persons head is slightly to one side, exposing one side of the neck, they are trying to defend themselves through deliberate non-aggression. In this case, their legs will often be closer together. Their voice will often be softer and they won't often disagree with the general consensus. This posture comes from saying that you are no threat, and to prove it, here is my head on it. If you notice this combined with slightly spread legs, they will likely by trying to manipulate something subtly (or they have a sore neck). If the head is slightly back, the person is confident and will often be in control of the situation. Conversely, if the head is forward and down slightly, the person will be more passive in any situation. If the head is forward and up with no apparent interest, back away slowly; this person is moving into a strike zone.
Here's one that you can try in a small group of friends. When everyone is relaxed, change your stance slightly; fold your arms, cross your legs, lean back, what ever you want (as long as it is natural). You will notice that people in the group will often follow this change without thinking about it. The more you notice this however, the less likely you are to follow the change yourself. The more someone likes you, the sooner and the more accurately they will follow your movements; the converse is also true to the extent that if someone really doesn't like you, they will sometimes reverse your movements in themselves.
Now remember what I said about stance? This is sometimes misleading. If there is an interest between two people one will often look away from each other and they may be facing someone else. This person will be the one who is most nervous about the situation and won't know what to do. They will also rarely the person who initiates any change in the status quo. They will look away and attempt to never make eye contact. If eye contact is achieved by design or by accident, it will be broken quickly. This can be fun to watch.
The final thing that I will mention is the shoulders. This can be a more accurate indication of temperament than either the face or the rest of the body. This is due to the effect of the lungs on the positioning of the shoulders. If your observee is confident or wishes the illusion of confidence (also related to dominance) their shoulders will be further back. Quiet sadness can be seen through the lowering of one shoulder (not always two as commonly thought); this shoulder will usually be the shoulder of the dominant hand. The other shoulder lowered can sometimes indicate aggression. Both shoulders lowered indicates pensiveness, distraction, or submission. It can also show more sadness than a single shoulder. These responses are not definitive and so to get a conclusion from these only is misleading. It must be combined with other signs to make a cogent diagnosis of the situation.
The absolute final thing that I have to mention in regards to all of this is that this comes mostly from my own observations which have at times been known to be wrong. The other thing that has to be noted is that every different person will be slightly different and so while this may work for some people, it will never be an exhaustive list of the only things that you need to watch. Use at your own risk.
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